The growing popularity of social media grievance groups in Singapore is not just a digital phenomenon, but evidence of the social cohesive power of grievances. While some may scoff at these online complaints as petty and meaningless, users of such platforms find connection and validation with their feelings and experiences, and they are able to make sense of what they have experienced. We realize that we are not the only ones who think there is a problem, and we are not crazy.
Nevertheless, this trend raises questions about our social dynamics. What motivates more individuals to air grievances online? Are these online spaces becoming a substitute for tangible human relationships? Are we seeing an undercurrent of social isolation? Or is it simply easier to bond online by sharing your grievances?
And more interestingly, does the communal comfort of airing our grievances increase the desire to complain even more?
Complaining can prevent you from taking action
Whatever the motivation for complaining, we must be careful that this “national pastime” does not become poisonous or addictive.
For example, the OneService municipal app receives 1.7 million complaints from Singapore residents every year, which equates to more than 4,600 complaints per day. Complaints range from overflowing trash cans to illegal parking and noise from neighbors. He used OneService to help residents report people who ignored safe distancing rules during the COVID-19 pandemic, so OneService was called “pao toh” (Hokkien for small talk). It gained a reputation as an app.
In The Twilight of Idols, the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche warned that complaining can give a false sense of satisfaction, even an “intoxicating sense of power.” The problems that cause us to complain can also become a source of joy. We can become addicted to it, and ironically, it can prevent us from making real change.
If we’re not careful, addictive gratification can turn us into habitual complainers.
The more you complain, the more you refuse to accept anything less than perfect. This can severely distort our perception and make us even less accepting of imperfections in people and situations, no matter how good and wonderful they may be.
In October 2023, a woman who caused a disturbance at the Singapore General Hospital’s accident and emergency department, yelling abuse at nurses and arguing with police was jailed and sentenced to a fine for various offences. She was too preoccupied with her own grievances, amplifying her anger and undermining her ability to objectively assess her situation. Things might have turned out differently for her if she had been a little more understanding and accepting of her situation.