I flew to Singapore to meet my girlfriend.She lied and stole £20,000.

He was so trusting that I didn’t notice any signs until it was too late.

We mainly communicated using WhatsApp, and every time I asked for a video call, she would make excuses. It was a normal fact that she could not do that, since she lived in a large family and was caring for her grandmother.

It’s just this culture, so I wanted her to feel reassured that I understood. Especially since she told me that she’s experienced a lot of criticism from the men she’s talked to.

He asks her if she’s a virgin, how many men she’s been with, and if she plans to live with her in-laws after marriage.

We continued to talk and eventually she convinced me that she would move to the UK to be with her family. We agreed this would happen in the next year or so. She is studying to become a lawyer, so she said she needs to finish some exams first to get her job.

I told my family that I met someone online and that I wanted to marry him. She was reluctant because they didn’t know anything about her and she felt it was too rushed.

Then one day, after two months of exchanging messages, she asked me to send her £5,000 to help with her living expenses.

She said she still needs to pay utility bills, phone bills, car insurance and loans she took out to get qualifications and advance her career.

I didn’t doubt anything because I felt I could trust her. She was happy to be able to help her. I could hear the nervousness in her voice.

Then, a few weeks later, she told me that she had come down with heart disease. I panicked and was so scared that I might lose my girlfriend. She asked me to help her because she needed money for her hospital treatment.

I immediately sent her the £1,000 and never thought there was anything wrong with her request.

This went on for several months. She has undergone further tests, but they haven’t identified the problem, and she has been in and out of the hospital, she said.

Every time she told me she had to go to the hospital again, I sent her more money, a few hundred dollars each time. However, requests continued to come even while she was out of the hospital.

She said another family member had become ill with mental health issues and was in a care home. Something always happened that she couldn’t afford to pay for.

After sitting there alone for five hours, the penny finally dropped. This person wasn’t real.he was catfished

At this point, I had been sending her money for 8 months. But I couldn’t stop myself from offering to help her. She didn’t see any red flags because she thought this person was going to be my wife. I was blinded by love.

I was desperately trying to calm down, but I had never experienced such kind nature from another woman.

In the end, I just wanted to meet her. Since we met online during the pandemic, there were always limitations to traveling conveniently. When the travel ban was lifted, I booked a flight to Singapore. We were scheduled to leave within a few days of booking.

I felt butterflies in my stomach because I felt nervous, anxious, scared and at the same time obsessed with Sandy.

She was really happy that I was coming and was looking forward to meeting me. Factoring in the coronavirus test, flight and quarantine on arrival, it cost around £3,000.

I left with a feeling of anticipation and excitement. When I arrived 13 hours later, I couldn’t wait for my future wife to pick me up from the airport. All I wanted to do was run to her, hug her, and feel her warmth.

However, when I went out of the arrival gate, I didn’t see anyone waiting. I thought they might be running late, so I sent them messages and called them, but they didn’t answer.

I sat and waited for her. One hour led to another, and another. And after sitting there for five hours alone, the penny finally dropped: this person wasn’t real.

I was caught by a catfish.

I was shocked. I was confused, lost and really hurt. How could I have been so stupid? I remembered all the conversations we had and repeated my parents’ advice over and over in my head: “Don’t rush.” What should I say to them?

Even though my “future wife” didn’t show up, I had to stay in Singapore for quarantine, which was very painful and emotionally draining.

After 14 days in a hotel, I decided to spend a few days there alone, trying to understand what had happened and make the most of this beautiful country.

I was completely hurting and a break and time for myself was what I needed.

My messages went unanswered and my phone calls went unanswered, so I knew for sure that Sandy was not who she said she was.

I called the Singapore police, but there wasn’t much they could do.

I contacted Tinder immediately and they just deleted her account.

In the end I transferred at least £20,000. I am still pursuing a lawsuit to get my money back from the bank, which said it would not be able to repay the several thousand yen I transferred. They said it was my fault and that I should have known the person wasn’t real.

This whole ordeal left me distraught, emotionally devastated, and in constant pain in my stomach. My health suffered and so did my family. They were ashamed of what the Sikh community would say if they found out about this.

I ended up borrowing money to help someone who doesn’t exist. I changed my life to be with someone who is not real. I was in a bad situation for a long time because of what happened to me.

In 2021, I finally met someone from Canada through the Shaadi dating app. She is a Sikh, but even after she fell in love, she couldn’t believe it was real until she actually met him.

After 10 months of dating, I married my current wife. I’m happy but I still have doubts as she is still in Canada and her formalities before coming to the UK will take time.

I thought being catfished didn’t exist until it happened to me and broke my heart. I was vulnerable, blind, and naive. The dating world has changed and many people use dating apps without thinking.

My advice is, if you’re talking to someone, make sure it’s really that person. You should talk to them via video call and meet them in person. Don’t send money to anyone, even if you feel sorry for them.

The stories the scammers on the other end of the phone tell you are just a way to manipulate you into doing what they want.

I realize it’s too late, but I don’t want others to fall into the same trap I did.

Catfishing can ruin your life, so be careful, be safe, and always make sure they are who they say they are. I was the same.

As told by Minreet Kaur

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