Now, the passive resistance of Millennials and Gen Z has extended to the annual tradition of celebrating Lunar New Year with their families. Many young Chinese are choosing to “disconnect” (literally meaning “cut off relatives” or avoid contact with relatives) rather than go home for a week-long holiday that ends this weekend. ing.
Vera is also one of those who decided not to go home for the holidays. This is often the only time Chinese workers have enough time off to return home for a few days of feasting or family obligations. This year, an estimated record 9 billion trips were made during the Lunar New Year period, with millions of people traveling by plane, train and car.
The 26-year-old jazz band manager and art therapy consultant was not among them. Bella spoke on the condition that only her English first name be used to discuss their delicate relationship. She no longer feels guilty about skipping the long journey from the green hills of southeast China’s Zhejiang province, where she lives in a community of digital nomads, to her frigid hometown on the Russian border. I made up my mind.
“I felt the third stage of traditional morality,” she said of the pressure to go back in the past few years. But after too many “toxic” interactions with her parents, Bella said she wasn’t even willing to make excuses this year.
Instead, she celebrated the Year of the Dragon by drawing pictures of dragons and eating a feast at a gathering organized by a friend. Her friend’s (more easy-going) parents were visiting. The next few days were blissful. I hiked through a bamboo forest, meditated by a river, danced in my underwear on a hillside, and lounged in a cafe playing drums.
“Here in the community, I have enough freedom. If I want to be with everyone, I can. If I want to spend time alone, I can. But at home, I lose that freedom.” she said.
Bella isn’t the only one who thinks the annual pilgrimage to her hometown is more trouble than it’s worth. Already stressed by the pressures of finding a job and building a career, a growing number of recent graduates are skipping family gatherings altogether, choosing to focus on traveling and having fun with friends.
Many people are tired of outdated holiday traditions and dashing family expectations. They resent excessive banquets and lavish gifts, and dislike intense pressure to settle down and have children.
Why bother, they ask, when all you have at home is constant conflict with relatives over money, marriage, and lifestyle?
Heated conversations with pushy relatives are not unique to China, but the country’s powerful leader, Xi Jinping, has politicized traditional notions of family and childbearing in an effort to avert a looming demographic crisis. We are making it a priority.
Today, in the face of rapid population decline made worse by decades in which most families were restricted to one child, Communist Party leaders are pushing ahead with patriarchal gender roles in hopes of a baby boom. . Expectations are high this year due to Chinese zodiac beliefs that baby dragons are particularly auspicious.
Many young people in the country fear that conflict within their families will be especially intense because the breakneck speed of economic development has created large generation gaps.
Komin Wu, a 21-year-old university student studying advertising in Changsha, said, “It took China 30 years to develop its economy, which took 200 years in the West, but the Chinese spiritual world has not developed as quickly.” talk. , Hunan Province. “I feel like my thoughts and my parents’ thoughts are separated by a dynasty.”
Although it is only an hour’s drive south of where she studied abroad, Wu does not think she will change her mind and return to her small hometown on the banks of the Xiang River in the future. At its core, it is meaningless “feudal garbage”.
If it weren’t for the economic slowdown, he believes more of his friends would follow his example, but some are unable to find work and rely on their parents for income. “If economic conditions allow, more people will want to spend their holidays alone or with friends who can provide emotional support,” he says.
Nanjing University sociologist Hu Xiaowu said urbanization, uncomfortable interactions with relatives and a generation of people glued to their smartphones have made the fraying of family bonds an “objective fact”. .
Hu said young professionals trying to support themselves are often stressed and kept busy by “engaging,” a common term that refers to putting in a lot of effort without seeing real results. Stated. “Innovation means less free time,” he said. “It’s hard to maintain relationships if you don’t have free time.”
State media have responded to the growing popularity of self-alienation with some sympathy and a lot of appeasement. I told Gen Z to stop doing that and stop being mean.
“A deeper understanding of young people is not a bad thing,” the state-run Fujian Daily newspaper wrote under a caricature of a young woman running away from a barrage of questions trying to break her megaphone.
The article states, “As for young people, instead of turning a blind eye to reality by “cutting off kinship,” it is better to actively communicate to maintain family ties and mend the gap between generations.” “Deaf,” he says.
In an official sign of unease, a video game called “Epic Showdown: New Year Reunion” has been taken offline days after becoming an unexpected hit. Artificial intelligence-powered chatbots were used to mimic interactions with aunts and uncles, often leading to intense probing over dates and offspring.
Developers blamed “technical issues” but hinted at complaints from authorities. “We will never forget our original desire to bring you a warm and high-quality visit in the new year,” the company said in a statement using the Communist Party’s slogan.
Official propaganda has used the festival as an opportunity to emphasize the Confucian belief that an orderly family is the basis of a stable and prosperous society.
The importance of being a devoted husband, son, wife and daughter took center stage at this year’s Chinese New Year Gala. The Spring Festival Gala is a variety show broadcast by state television, and was used as a kind of celebratory wallpaper in most Chinese homes during the Spring Festival.
This year included schmaltzy comedy skits extolling the virtues of striving to maintain a happy nuclear family. In one sketch, an emotionally stubborn father can’t find a way to publicly compliment his teenage son, even though he’s secretly very proud of him. Every time he tries, his attempts at kindness turn into admonitions.
At the last moment, when his son is about to leave, he has a breakthrough. “My son,” the actors say in unison. “You’re really making mom and dad proud.”
He gives the child a thumbs up to the tune of tear-jerking music.
But made-for-TV happy endings aren’t so easy for everyone. For Lily Zhang, her family’s criticism of her “rebellious” lifestyle became too much last year. Her parents did not know that she was gay, but after her unsuccessful application for admission to graduate school, they pressured her to meet and marry her matchmaker. When she refused, they stopped supporting her financially.
She decides to block all her relatives and is vacationing with her girlfriend in the countryside of southwestern Yunnan province. Paying off student loans as a freelance writer isn’t easy, but the couple’s rented house in the village is cheap and they save money by growing their own vegetables.
“I thought I could do everything: earn money at work, get along with my parents and grandparents, be part of a normal family, but I realized that I wasn’t taking care of myself,” she said. Told. “I think it is necessary to break free from bad relationships in order to survive.”