We’re back at the Gibson Hotel for the latest episode of First Dates, and it’s another episode full of shocks and plot twists.
The first couple, Richard and Caoimhe, look great on paper. Initially, Richard seemed to be radiating serial killer-level intensity, but we were all relieved when he turned out to be just an elementary school teacher.
He was happy to split the bill with the falconer Caoimhe, but his feelings become even more shocking when he says that he doesn’t want to see them again because their “energy didn’t resonate.”
Fortunately, Caoimhe is used to working with an unpredictable race and takes rejection on the chin, but viewers will find Richard running a marathon just to run as fast as possible purely out of a perfect love match. I’m left wondering if he’s running.
Paul and Aoife hit it off right away, bonding over the fact that they are just two wonderful people who deserve happiness.
Future bus driver Paul is clearly infatuated with Aoife, who works at Pieta House. I mean, she’s one of those horrifyingly “good” people we read about.
Knowing that these two beauties just wanted to be friends makes you wonder if the curse of the first date can be broken.
Brian, from Cork, says it’s important to be kind, but given he’s studying law, this maxim, no matter how aspirational, is probably just the opposite for young people. It’s safe to say that.
It’s no surprise that he couldn’t find love with the chemistry graduate, considering he’s apparently already found his soulmate in the hedgehog.
Brian’s level of gravure towards the humble Grain Neog is so endearing that even this reviewer now sees the prickly little bastard who’s been camped out in a shed for the past four months in a whole new light.
Speaking of squatters’ rights, Biff, who had to come back after a separation, is working towards those rights precisely because of his mother’s gaffe.
Biff and Toni make even this jaded critic believe in the power of second chances. The two hit it off so well that they have to use a “talking cane” to make sure everyone gets a chance to talk uninterrupted.
Biff tries to convince the make-up artist he’s dating that the Ariana Grande poster in his bedroom actually belongs to his daughter, that old chestnut.
What follows in the post-show epilogue is a plot twist that no one expected. Biff is said to still be waiting for a call back from Toni, but we can only assume that Toni’s phone has been broken for the past few months. Unbelievable level.
Toni, if you’re there, at least send a message back to him saying it’s me and not you.
Because no one should have to suffer the sling of unrequited love under Ariana Grande’s critical eye.
- First Dates Ireland is on Thursdays on RTÉ2 and available to watch on RTÉ Player