Rebecca Tallon de Havilland talks about her second life, overcoming an HIV diagnosis, heroin addiction, and the tumultuous years after her gender transition.
Having grown up in Dublin before living in London, she believes Ireland is ahead of the curve when it comes to acceptance.
“I’m tired of people criticizing Ireland, including us. You know, I’ve had the luxury of working in London and here. We need to stop looking at the US and the UK and just move forward. We were slow starters, don’t get me wrong. But we We’ve come a long way. We still have a ways to go, but we’re on the right path, that’s how I see it,” she admits.
Rebecca experienced a second life after transitioning, going through the “second adolescence” that some transgender people go through as they adjust to life as their true selves.
Diagnosed with HIV in 1987, she was given two years to live. Thirty years later, she has overcome drug addiction and a stint in sex work and is more vibrant than ever. However, from her bright personality and easy-going conversation, it is hard to imagine that she has had such an eventful life.
She started working as a hairstylist at fashion photo shoots for stars and at the Eurovision Song Contest.
She returned to our shores in 2022 following a stint in London and is now working with HIV Ireland to raise awareness of the virus among transgender people.
This year she will be heading up Virgin Media Television’s new show Second Chances. The show will feature, you guessed it, seven people being given a second chance at her.
Rebecca helps people from all walks of life reach new heights.
The four-part series follows participants as they navigate a new phase in their lives, with Rebecca guiding them. She takes them to professional counselors, but also puts them through immersive experiences designed to help them start over.
Participants come from all walks of life and there are countless reasons to embrace a second chance.
“This is also a second chance at life for me to do things the right way,” says Rebecca.
“There are seven different people in Second Chances, and none of them are transgender or have HIV, and that makes me very happy, because even though people think it’s tokenism, Because there isn’t.
“One is an amputee and the other is diabetic. One is recovering from breast cancer. The other is a refugee who came here when she was 13 and is now 19 and studying law in Maynooth,” she said. explains.
“I hope people like this work and that we can try again and help more people. Isn’t that how life is supposed to be anyway? You know. Shouldn’t we try to help others? Isn’t that part of who we are as humans?” she added.
The show gave Rebecca, now in her 60s, an opportunity to reflect on her journey and consider where she ended up. Although she transitioned over 30 years ago, people still sometimes refer to her by her “dead name” or her pre-transition name. “Someone did this to me recently. If 35 years later you can’t understand the fact that I’m Rebecca and I have a vagina, then I think there’s something wrong with me,” she laughed. .
Rebecca Talon de Havilland and Marlon
“Sometimes people go back to that, and I just wonder, what rock have you been hiding under? Sometimes I think it’s just ignorance. Sometimes I think I’m just doing it to create something. In other words, I don’t fight back. People often ask me, “Don’t you hold a grudge against your past?” That doesn’t make sense. The past is the past.
“I definitely wouldn’t have become a sex worker or a heroin addict if the circumstances weren’t the same. That’s for sure, because it was never on my to-do list,” she said. added.
“For me, the pain of drugs and other things was so great that when I discovered drugs and alcohol, it numbed the pain. I never thought I would stay sober for 19 years, and in one stage I couldn’t even keep it for 19 minutes. I remember my sponsor saying, “To keep it, you have to let it go.” For a long time, that didn’t mean I didn’t like dogs. “I think that’s what’s really important to me, is that I’m in a really great place right now,” she says.
Second Chance was Rebecca’s first role as a TV presenter, but thanks to her connections with the people involved, the job never felt like a job. “What I thought was amazing throughout the whole thing…if you had told me about these seven girlfriends in the beginning, what would I have in common with them? I probably wouldn’t have said anything at all,” Rebecca said. says.
“But I found an identity, and they found it in me. I thought that was great, that no matter what illness we go through, we suddenly become colorless and have no gender. None of us are exempt from any disease,” she added.
“It’s remarkable how, against all odds, each and every one of them is putting up that fight. In my case, even if they’re in their 40s, when I look at young people, who I am now 65 years old, it’s just… I’m just wondering… Wouldn’t it be great if someone was there for me?”
Second Chances starts tonight on Virgin Media One.